I almost forgot my briefcase!

it contains important lab results
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this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day
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This is the second time he’s jumped onto the counter, unable to get down
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1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.

2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.

3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.

4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.

5. Fart when you have to.

6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!

7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.

- Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)

(Source: fawnbabe, via killthechallenge)

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Found a better use for the wine glasses

That’s a martini glass

I’m literally using it for milk and cookies does it look like I care about the finer points of debauchery.
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